In our home

This is not my own thought, rather one from Buford Mobley – we as the parent or guardian is the one responsible for our player’s development – period. Ultimately, the player needs to want growth, but we are there to aid in his or her development on the field just as we are for educational, nutritional, medical, social, and maturity needs.

In our home, there is often discussion of games….our kids want to blame the ref, blame the dirty team… but they are learning….this blame shifting is not tolerated in our home – play better, smarter, faster is what I have told our kids and fellow parents who blame everyone and thing else for a loss. Stop with the excuse of the weather – the other team had the same weather, stop with the excuse of the ref made bad calls elevate your game to be better than the bad calls. See each adversity as a welcome challenge for growth and improvement.

Game day is when kids showcase what they learned during practice. It may be huge! Shots on goal on fire enough to make me cry if it were to hit me 😉 We love that as fans dont we? Scoring! Winning!! Kids love to win too, everyone does! And it may be small, their touch is a tad cleaner, the pass a bit crisper, they are almost timing the run or long ball just right. You see there are so many elements for youth players to develop on and professional players – thats why this game is amazing!

Keep in mind the days your player does have a bad game – you are parent first, they are children first, and even the paid professionals have bad terrible games and a ton of shots on goal without hitting the net! Perhaps that is why I am dumbfounded by parents yelling at a 7v7 game that their kid needs to play better – bruh they are 9 and younger what’s your problem they aren’t even a decade old?! Have you seen the guys on the pitch who have played for multiple decades making bad touches bad passes and even shots “with their purse” as my sister-in-love says?! Why have professional expectations on a child?

We don’t, well I don’t think we all do, get frustrated that our 6 year old can’t do calculus or write a 5 page essay…..so why does it change when they are on the pitch? Why does he transform into Lionel Messi or she transforms into Alex Morgan?

So parents here is your evaluation, as YOU are the one responsible for the training environment, and most importantly the home environment. Some of you may find this self eval has some weird questions, these are based on real life interactions I have had on the sideline, questions I would like to ask a fellow parent if they weren’t busy having an offside call panic attack.

  1. Do I give my son/daughter reassurance that his/her identity and my love exists outside of soccer?
  2. Am I my player’s biggest cheerleader and encourager? (I loved when you…. hey I noticed today you….win or lose its always fun watching you out there….wasn’t that so awesome when [insert teammate name] did …)
  3. Is my player being Coached by a good Coach? (See Coach Evaluation Article)
  4. Is the team my player on a healthy team? Is the adversity my player is experiencing at the right time for them for growth in character and/or their game or is this not age appropriate adversity?
  5. What are my thoughts about the purpose of the season? Am I losing sight of the big picture or am I keeping the league and tournament play in proper perspective?
  6. Am I remembering this sport is part of his/her journey?
  7. Am I properly monitoring the physical health of my player? Nutrition, Hydration, Sleep, Injuries, proper rest times from play, strength trainging (see ___ articles)
  8. Am I patient in waiting for him/her to request feedback? Do I backoff when they do not want it?
  9. Do I have character accolades to give my child? Leading with communication/by example; being kind; good sportsmanship; effort; grit; coachability; encouraging others.

On the team

So now that we have reflected on our home framework for the game, how is practice? How do you know if the practice suits your child?

  1. Does my player enjoy practice?
  2. Is my player appropriately challenged?
  3. Are individual skill improvement opportunities available throughout the week?
  4. Is my player encouraged?
  5. Is my player held accountable appropriately?
  6. Are practices different from week to week?
  7. Are new lessons being taught for individuals as well as the team as a whole?

Reflection

Take time throughout the season to ask yourself the questions above and to have a constructive conversation with your athlete on how they think things are going as well. Of course the younger they are the simpler the conversation is; do you love to play soccer? etc. With older, you can ask, are you enjoying the game and do you see your own personal improvements? How are your improvements helping the team? What are you exceling at? What could you do better? This also sets up a healthy pattern for your athlete to reflect on the journey thus far and to refocus on where he/she would like it to go.